The Three Drunks
by melmel12129
Summary: Warning: TOTAL OOCNESS! Hah? What? Haru's acting really weird, I mean, poking Yuki and all. Oh, and the claiming. Didn't Haru get over Yuki already? Oh no...now Rin's jealous too, I mean, who wouldn't be? If their boyfriend loved another MAN? And Yuki's annoyed. Well, more like scared and pissed off at the same time. Ha, and God's in misery. This world is screwed up. T just in case


**Really weird crackfic…all the characters are extremely OOC…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket…**

**melmel12129: Hi guys...I'm taking a hiatus off of Full Metal Alchemist (didn't use hiatus right, but whatevs.) ...and finished Fruits Basket.**

**Yuki: I'm totally OOC. I've never yelled at anyone but the idiot cat.**

**Kyo: WHO'RE YOU CALLING IDIOT, DAMN RAT? **

**Yuki: You.**

**Kyo: WHY, YOU! DON'T CALL ME IDIOT!**

**Yuki: Then stop being one.**

**Kyo: -pants-**

**melmel12129: O...k. Now the yelling-fest's over...I will explain why you should NOT read this. With some help.**

**Hatsuharu: 1. I love Yuki.**

**Rin: 2. I'm extremely jealous.**

**Yuki: 3. She's extremely jealous.**

**melmel12129: Hey! That's the same thing. Anyways...4. Yuki never stops screaming in the entire fic. Yeah. That's pretty much it.**

**Rin: FML.**

**Haru: I already did.**

**Rin: Now, it would work if I wrote FM, but not FML.**

**Haru: Yes, how smart of you.**

**melmel12129: Ew. Stop with the gushyness and let's start the chapter/story/fanfiction/whatever it is.**

**Enjoy…everyone who can get through this without dying from all the capitals…**

* * *

Pok. Pok. Pok. Pok.

"STOP IT! MY HEAD HURTS!"

"Whaaaaa?"

"OH! MY SIDE! IT'S KILLING ME!"

"Haaaaaah?"

"YOU'RE GETTING TOO HIGH OFF OF THIS, I SWEAR!"

"Mmmmm?"

"AHHHHHH GET AWAY FROM ME IDIOT!"

"Yuki…you look pretty…"

"RIN'S LOOKING! SHE'S REALLY LOOKING, HATSUHARU!"

"Geeeeeet away from him, you pretty boy…Yuki."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING PRETTY BOY YOU-YOU-YOU-RIIIIIN!"

Pok. Pok. Pok. Pok.

"STOP POKING ME!"

"Noooooo…"

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN! WHHHHHHY? SAVE MEEEEE!"

"He was telling me just whyyyy, oh whyyyyyy, he loved you. REVENGE!"

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.

"OOOOOW! NOT NOOOOOW! DON'T TURN BLACK ON ME!"

"Feel the wrath of my jealousy!"

"Oooooooo…Rin's jeeeeaaaaaloooous…of whooooo?"

"OF ME! OF ME YOU IDIOT HARU! SO STOP COMING CLOSER!"

"But I wanna make you miiiiine…YUKIIIII!"

"WHAT WILL YOU DO ONCE YOU HAVE ME?"

"What did you just say?"

"OH! NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, RIN, NOTHING!"

"HAHAHA! ONCE I HAVE YOU I'LL USE YOU TO BEAT KYONKICHI!"

"Oh goooood. Nothing else, I hope, Haru, Yuki, ne?"

Pok. Pok. Pok. Pok.

"OH NO! EVEN WORSE WHEN HE'S WHITE AGAIN!"

"NOTHING ELSE, RIGHT?"

BAAAAAAAAAAANG! KABOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"YEAH! RIN! NOTHING ELSE!"

"How cuuuuute. Purrrrrfectly in unison there, Haru, YunYun!"

"DON'T CALL ME YUNYUN! ONLY MACHI CAN CALL ME THAT!"

"Whaaat? I thought only I was the one you loooooved, WHY YUKI WHY?"

"Oh, so you love him don't you, hm? Yuki what do you say?"

"I DON'T LOVE HIM! HE DOESN'T LOVE ME! HARUUUU! RIN'S LOOKING!"

"Ohhhhh. I seeee-"

"WHAAAAA? HE FELL ASLEEP?"

"Oh! My Haru! I shall sleep with him!"

"NOW RIN'S ASLEEP TOO! SO I SHALL FOLLOW THEIR GODLY LEADS!"

Snore. Snore. Snore. Snore.

-Owari-

* * *

-Omake-

"Hmmm, so the rat, ox, and horse are sleeping together, huh?"

"Ah, God, don't think anything of it."

"How can I not? THEY BETRAYED ME! BETRAYED ME I TELL YOU! IIIII TEEEEELL YOOOOOU!"

"Ahaaa, yes, um, I hear you."

"WHY? I THOUGHT THEY LOVED ME! THEY WERE GOING TO BANQUET TODAY!"

"Hey, I thought the curse was broken."

"DON'T REMIND ME! THEY STILL ALL LOVE ME! RIGHT? RIGHT? HUH? WHERE DID THEY ALL GO?"

"Ahahaha, um, eh, they, um, wanted to, um, leave for, um, just a little bit."

"NOOOOOO! MY FAITHFUL COMPANIONS!"

* * *

Haha, a bit random OOCness there…if you could tell, Haru was poking Yuki, who was the one screaming the whole time, Rin was jealous of Yuki, and Haru was, while switching from black and white, trying to "love" Yuki. Obviously three drunks…if I don't say so myself…

-melmel12129


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